Truthful About Herself

Wednesday, 20 August

This may be the first day in quite some time that everything was pretty normal, by the book, ordinary. I love ordinary. Sometimes extraordinary…but the out-of-the-ordinary is getting old.

7:00am: Wake up and get ready for the day. Make Abby lunch. She’s sleepy and doesn’t want to go to school. We argue about whether or not it is acceptable to wear blue and white checkered shorts with a yellow shirt. As soon as I decide it isn’t worth the fight, she quietly changes her clothes. Since when do 5 year olds act like teenagers?

8:00am: Leave to take Abby to school. She seems ok with going now. No craziness from the ex.

8:30am: I go to the gym. I need to go to the gym. Makes me feel better. Excercise is a great stress reliever…or so I hope.

9:30am: Home again and sleepy. Oh how I hate being tired all the time.  My body must be royally pissed at me.

3:30pm: Get ready for work. Not wanting to go there…at all. That place is stressing me out unneccessarily.

12:00am: All finished with work. I’ve made very little money tonight, most of which I plan to spend on lemon drop martinis. Hang out with Stacia for an hour. It’s nice to sit. It’s nice to have no one asking me a million questions or needing anything.

1:00am: Head to Ron’s. Quickly fall asleep.

Monday, 17 August

6:00am: Get up, shower, get dressed, go over paperwork for the thousandth time, and pace, pace, pace…

7:00am: Call Megan. Tell her it may be a good idea to leave earlier, suggest she just stays home. I’m a big girl. I can go alone. She adamantly refuses.

7:45am: Megan and I leave to go to the courthouse. I’m so glad she came. There is a lot of traffic because President Obama was in the downtown area, near the courthouse, talking about healthcare reform. I know this sounds crazy, but being the Obama enthusiast that I am, I took this as a sign that everything would be ok.

8:45am: I find the room designated for default hearings. A very friendly woman greets me and goes through the paperwork that I brought. I was so nervous that I had forgotten or misfiled something. Then I’m instructed to wait in the courtroom. The judge is immediately ready for me. After asking me a few questions he determines that I will receive sole custody of my daughter, eventhough I requested joint. This is due to her father’s irradict behavior. I am overjoyed and Megan and I begin to cry. What a miracle!!!

9:45am: We leave the courtroom and I’m in a daze. I feel like I’m dreaming. We want to celebrate but our only option is breakfast. We go to Denny’s and eat to our heart’s content. We talk and talk and still can’t believe my good fortune.

11:00am: I drop Megan off and begin calling everyone. It’s such a happy and  joyful time. Everyone is ecstatic and relieved.

12:00pm: I sleep a little. I’m exhausted by the emotional rollercoaster I’ve been on the past few days.

1:00pm: I go to Tessy’s and watch the kidlets while she runs errands. They’re so funny and cute.

2:45pm: Abby just got home from school and is devastated. The dog she had been caring for is gone, and eventhough she only had her for about a day, she is crushed. Her dad, who does not yet know about the divorce, calls to ask if I’ll come pick her up. He doesn’t know how to console her.

3:00pm: I take Abby to SanTan Mall. We look at the puppy store and make a Build-a-Bear that looks just like her puppy. We name her Tasha. Abby plays at the kiddie area and seems to be in good spirits.

5:00pm: We head to her dad’s house, where I watch her on Monday nights while he takes anger management classes. I feed her dinner, give her a bath, and comb her hair.

7:00pm: We watch Ghost Whisperer, one of her favorite shows. It is beyond me how such a small child isn’t scared of those ghosts.

7:45pm: The crazy ex gets home and I head to Ron’s. We go to Kona Grill and I have my favorite drink, a mango mojito. Then we see District 9, which is very good. Probably the most innovative movie I’ve ever seen.

11:30pm: We head back to Ron’s apartment. I love the nights I get to stay with him. Besides the great sex, and we did have great sex tonight, I love sleeping next to him. I was married a long time and never remember sleeping next to Barry. I never wanted to. He was an annoyance. It’s sad really. So, I fell asleep early and slept so well next to him.

Where the hell is this month going?

Saturday, 15 August

8:30am: Wake up…wait, what?!? I slept this late? Yes, yes I did. And it’s about damn time.

9:00am: Abby watches cartoons, I fill out divorce paperwork. We are planning to go to a movie with Elliott and Tessy, but Abby is calling me names and hits me. Enough. She is told we aren’t going and throws a huge fit.

10:30am: Abby has finally calmed down and is doing crafts. I am still working on the paperwork and have had a few panic attacks. Can’t handle the stress of not knowing whether my paperwork is right.

11:00am: Abby and I watch Matilda, twice. It’s so nice to snuggle in bed with her. I doze off and on. Quiet, peaceful afternoon.

2:45pm: Abby’s dad picks her up, I get ready for work.

4:00pm: My bartending shift starts at the Bees. I have a rather steady but slow night, make decent money. Nothing spectacular. Kim, Robert, and Scott close with me, which makes the night at least tolerable. I love to watch the boys make Kim embarrassed by their vulgar comments.

1:30am: Get done with work. Go and see Ron for a little bit. It’s nice to just lay in his arms for a little while.

2:30am: Go home, shower, get ready for bed. Write my blog.

3:30am: Watch Weeds until I fall asleep.

Friday, 14 August

Day 2 was exhausting, although I imagine it is going to be par for the course soon enough.

5:30am: Wake up (I NEVER get up this early. Many times I’m only just getting to sleep.), take shower, get dressed, organize Abby’s school stuff, make Abby’s lunch, get interview paperwork organized.

6:45am: Wake Abby up. I can’t bear to think of her waking up with me gone. I get her dressed and do her hair. Wake Jenn up, who is gracious enough to take Abby to school for me today.

7:15am: Leave for 8am interview. Realize after I’ve gotten on the freeway that I need gas. Exit freeway, get gas, get moving. Now I’m running behind.

8:00am: Meeting with Virginia and Stephanie from Pearson. Very exciting stuff. I hope to get my first project soon. I can tell I’m going to enjoy the work and the colleagues.

10:30am: Leave interview with good feeling, head toward ASU. Realize crazy ex has sent me about 20 emails since I didn’t let him speak to Abby before school. He is threatening me as usual and claims that he will pick her up from school.

11:00am: Get to ASU office. Talk to Vicky and Robert about our future employment plans. Head to lunch at Tricks. Have a marvelous watermelon martini, beef tenderloin salad, and in the meantime broker a ceasefire with the ex.

1:15pm: Head toward Mesa, realizing that I will have to pick Abby up from school soon. Stop at mom’s to pass time. Brina is there with lil Miss Alex. We all go to Target and then pick up Abby from school. She is thrilled to see her grandma, aunt, but most importantly, her little baby cousin, who she calls cupcake. Stop at Sonic for cold drinks.

3:30pm: Drop Abby off at her dad for some swimming time (I’m too nice to let him see her…but truth is I’m exhausted). I go home and sleep for an hour, until he drops her off.

6:00pm: Abby helps Jenn give Max and Zooey a bath. So cute. She starts to get an attitude. I must fight with her to take her own bath and then, because she chooses to misbehave, we read a few books and it’s lights out.

8:30pm: By this time we are both asleep. A rather rare but miraculous occurence. She sleeps in her own bed again!